Excellent Explication of Rape Culture (triggers)
Melissa McEwan has written a very clear, accessible, descriptive piece on Rape Culture. Even non-Feminists should have a reasonable understanding of what is meant by the term “rape culture” after reading this post. In the interests of inspiring feminist light-bulb moments, this should be circulated as much as possible.
A rape culture is a complex of beliefs that encourages male sexual aggression and supports violence against women. It is a society where violence is seen as sexy and sexuality as violent. In a rape culture, women perceive a continuum of threatened violence that ranges from sexual remarks to sexual touching to rape itself. A rape culture condones physical and emotional terrorism against women as the norm.
In a rape culture both men and women assume that sexual violence is a fact of life, inevitable as death or taxes. This violence, however, is neither biologically nor divinely ordained. Much of what we accept as inevitable is in fact the expression of values and attitudes that can change.
Rape culture is 1 in 6 women being sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. Rape culture is not even talking about the reality that many women are sexually assaulted multiple times in their lives. Rape culture is the way in which the constant threat of sexual assault affects women’s daily movements. Rape culture is telling girls and women to be careful about what you wear, how you wear it, how you carry yourself, where you walk, when you walk there, with whom you walk, whom you trust, what you do, where you do it, with whom you do it, what you drink, how much you drink, whether you make eye contact, if you’re alone, if you’re with a stranger, if you’re in a group, if you’re in a group of strangers, if it’s dark, if the area is unfamiliar, if you’re carrying something, how you carry it, what kind of shoes you’re wearing in case you have to run, what kind of purse you carry, what jewelry you wear, what time it is, what street it is, what environment it is, how many people you sleep with, what kind of people you sleep with, who your friends are, to whom you give your number, who’s around when the delivery guy comes, to get an apartment where you can see who’s at the door before they can see you, to check before you open the door to the delivery guy, to own a dog or a dog-sound-making machine, to get a roommate, to take self-defense, to always be alert always pay attention always watch your back always be aware of your surroundings and never let your guard down for a moment lest you be sexually assaulted and if you are and didn’t follow all the rules it’s your fault.
And from the comments section:
“I nearly cried reading this, as a person who used to be a little boy who was repeatedly raped and told (by my rapist) that it was because I was too girly/faggoty.
Because I guess the only thing girls (and faggots) deserve is violent assault.
What I was trying to say (in a somewhat choked-up way) is that even sexual assault committed against men/boys/males is a misogynistic act, something that a lot of people argue with me about.”
I also agree with this and this point wasn’t addressed in the OP. I’ve said before that rape and rape culture exist to enforce the social order, the social hierarchy and the dominance of males. This is why they rape children, it’s why they rape women and it’s why they rape each other. Patriarchy is dependant upon the subjugation and oppression of a feminised underclass. To borrow from Jill P Smith for a minute, Patriarchy is an occupying force on planet earth and sexual terrorism is it’s primary enforcer. The underclasses are reminded of their place in the social order by pervasive gendered cultural imperatives which insist on extreme feminisation and then use that feminisation in order to justify the sexual terrorism.
October 17, 2009 at 12:15 am
I saw this too, and immediately bookmarked it for future reference. It is excellent and there are a lot of useful comments.
I am finding more and more examples of rape culture everywhere I look. My 14 year old nephew posted a drawing of a schoolfriend on facebook recently, labelling her the ’slut fairy’, and then told me when I protested, that she knows it’s just a joke. Right, because all 13 year old girls need to be shown clearly that their bodies are good for only mockery or sex, or both. Could not get this through to him, or why this connects to a wider culture of violence against women.
Sorry, that’s quite a personal comment I guess, but seeing the way the patriarchy is slowly taking over the mind of a young boy makes me furious. And it *is* about having to conform to rape culture, lest he be the one who is victimised and raped.
October 17, 2009 at 7:30 am
I know, it’s so pervasive it’s hard to know just how to deal with it. My son is the same age as your nephew and I think it’s a confusing time for him, because the messages he gets from me are so contra to the messages he gets from quite literally everywhere else. Peers, media, even his dad and his teachers. He has this one teacher who makes humourous references to porn, whilst teaching a class called “History, Mystery & Forensics” which sounds interesting until you read the topics; woman-killer, Jack The Ripper, The Pyjama Girl, etc. Complete with graphic details of how these women died.
It comes from everywhere, and to make it even more confusing for a 14 yr old boy, the girls he is friends with often appear to support rape culture too, as I once did until I found feminism. They’re all indoctrinated into this culture and if a mouthy old radfem like me still gets shouted down about it in the class room, then it must be that much harder for teens to go against the grain and as you said become targets themselves of one kind or another.
I guess all we can do is show disapproval and hope a seed or two implant. I find challenging it with humour and sarcasm is always more likely to make him think.
I’m trying to come up with a thesis topic right now; this could be a possibility…teens and rape culture.
October 17, 2009 at 9:19 am
I think that would be a fantastic topic. It seems like puberty is the time when rape culture starts to really take hold of people. Someone suggested to me that it seems to be institutionalised in schools themselves – that was an interesting thought, but I think probably it is just one element of the whole. But there is something in it – I think school definitely establishes lots of divisions between boys and girls, even to the extent of having different rules, and this is the first time many children experience life independently from their parents/family. I also remember lots of horrible, lecherous teachers, who would sport erections in class and even teachers who had sexual relationships with students.
I agree with the humour and sarcasm thing. I am not always very good at that off the cuff though. Nephew does like to think of himself as an ‘alternative’ type, not a fashion-follower etc, so I try to point out the ways in which his behaviour is just following the crowd and being a sheep, although without being insulting. It’s very difficult. I can’t imagine how I would cope if he was my son. I’m sure you’ve done a good job with yours, but it gets to a point where your influence diminishes, and like you say, if you are the only person in his world who talks to him about this stuff, then it’s going to be really confusing for him.
It took me a long time to get to grips with all of this stuff, and I’m still learning how not to justify and perpetuate rape culture, so it’s a lot to expect from 14 year old boys that they take all this on board, and defy their teachers, classmates and fathers.